Office Space

The past couple weeks, I’ve been knees-deep in a fun little process HR likes to call “team building.” That means me & my coworkers get to talk to all kinds of people and management and … *gulp* consultants. We talk work flow and interpersonal relationships and fun things like that. I had an hour-long chat with a consultant on Wednesday. I survived, though I’m afraid a few of my coworkers didn’t have it as easy as I did. As I was sitting at my desk afterwards, decompressing and digesting what just happened, an absurd thought crossed my mind. I started giggling hysterically. I am living “Office Space.” I just had a meeting with “the Bobs,” or in this case, just one “Bob.”

“So where’s the motivation?” … “My only real motivation is not to be hassled; that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.”

Wow. I know I uttered a few of those words to the “Bob.” Maybe I’ll end up with some hypothetical stock options. Or maybe they’ll just take away my Swingline stapler. If they do….